Confidential · For Your Eyes

HELLO NANCY × NICK

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HELLO NANCY × NICK KYRGIOS — R2 phase 2 →
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A CAMPAIGN PROPOSAL · ROUND 02

HELLO NANCY
×
NICK KYRGIOS

FOR YOUR EYES

THE FIRST QUESTION EVERYONE ASKS US

Why the f*** would Nick Kyrgios
endorse a sex toy brand for women?

THE ANSWER

He's not.
He's SUING them.

Personally insulted by a lemon-shape sex toy. Cannot live with the embarrassment. Filing now.

STAGE 01 · THE DISCOVERY

"POV: my boyfriend thought my LEM was a face massager hahaha"

His girlfriend's selfie video goes viral. 47M views. Lad Bible runs it within hours. Nick is humiliated, furious, at war with anything lemon-shaped.

@danai.stamati

STAGE 01B · NICK YAPS BACK

Then Nick posts to his own profile.
Two flavours. Pick one.

Selfie-mode. Hotel bed. Broken racket on the bedspread. Four minutes of unfiltered Nick yapping about a fruit. No script. No edit. No logo.

@k1ngkyrg1os
4m 12s
"i'm losing it lads. lemons. all of them."
@bystander_caught_this
0:42
"he's just smashing the lemons. he brought a racquet to the LIDL."
VARIANT A · STANDARD KYRGIOS

Hotel bed. Phone-vertical. Broken racket. Pure rant — the way his podcast already sounds, but unhinged about a fruit.

VARIANT B · MAN AT WAR WITH FRUIT

Supermarket aisle. He brings a racquet. He uses lemons as practice balls. Deadpan, focused, absurd. A bystander films it like it's a lottery win.

refs: italian kid TikTok · "greatest freakout ever" · peppino scream meme

STAGE 02 · THE PUBLIC SIGHTING

A creator catches him at the fruit market.
Smashing lemons with a racket.

Day three. Phone-vertical, shaky, "is this real?" footage. Shot by another creator who just happened to be there. No HelloNancy fingerprint. No CTA. Just Nick, a tennis racket, and a war on citrus.

@tennisinsider
0:24
"is that nick kyrgios?? why is he beating up the LEMONS"

REFERENCE

The CeraVe × Michael Cera moment. He was caught walking out of Whole Foods with moisturizer. Nick gets caught smashing fruit at a Mallorca market. Same architecture. Different talent.

Cross-posts: tennis Twitter, gossip TikTok, sports Reddit, Deuxmoi. Every meme account has it within 12 hours.

STAGE 02B · NICK'S OFFICIAL STATEMENT

Then he posts a celebrity-statement card.
Black background. Small text. Deadpan.

The classic athlete-Apple-Notes screenshot. Looks 100% real. The lawsuit gets official. The internet doesn't know what to do with it.

@k1ngkyrg1os

A statement from my legal team

After careful review and on the advice of counsel, I am pursuing damages against HelloNancy regarding their lemon-shaped product, the LEM.

The grounds are simple. It works too well. My girlfriend will not stop talking about it. There is now a lemon in every drawer of our home. The dog is afraid.

I am seeking emotional damages, the cost of one (1) replacement racquet, and the destruction of every lemon currently in transit to my address.

I will not be commenting further.

— Nick Kyrgios

DIRECTION

Apple-Notes screenshot aesthetic. Black or charcoal background, white serif text. Reads like a real celebrity statement until you get to the third line. "It works too well." is the joke that breaks it.

The hidden punchline: the actual reason for the lawsuit is implied — his girlfriend liked it too much. He's never going to say it out loud, but everyone knows.

Posted at 11:47 PM, no warning. No graphic. No follow-up. Three story-mentions in 6 hours.

STAGE 02C · NANCY RESPONDS

We send Danai more fruit.
With a note.

A Nancy-branded delivery shows up at her door. Lemons, pomelos, a grapefruit, and one extra LEM. Card reads: "sorry x — extras, just in case 🍋." She posts the unboxing. Tags Nancy. Tags Nick. Nick says nothing.

Nancy's gift box on Danai's doorstep
@danai.stamati
0:18
"@hellonancy did you really 😭
@k1ngkyrg1os we need to talk"

THE BRAND VOICE

Nancy never breaks character. The brand is officially "the antagonist." Every move is delivered straight, with no wink.

@hellonancy: "for danai. with love. and a few extra. 🍋"

comment count disabled. story-pinned for 24h.

What this triggers: the rumour mutates. The story goes from "Nick is suing" to "Nick is suing — and Nancy is baiting him." That's when TikTok takes over.

STAGE 03 · THE BLOW-UP

Then the rumour mutates into the actual line.

"Nick Kyrgios is suing HelloNancy for creating a lemon massager that made his girlfriend a bit too happy."

TikTok creators pile in. PR meme pages run with it. Everybody quotes the line back at each other. Nancy still hasn't said a word.

D
@deuxmoi
2.8M · gossip

"received: the lemon made his gf a little too happy 😭 and now he wants damages?"

♥ 540k↗ 32k💬 6.8k
L
@ladbible
10.4M · meme

"breaking: tennis champion takes legal action against a piece of fruit. we love europe."

♥ 920k↗ 47k💬 9.8k
B
@barstoolsports
14M · sports

"nick kyrgios's GF was using the lemon. nick kyrgios was NOT. that's the lawsuit, that's the whole story."

♥ 1.2M↗ 78k💬 22k

Five days. Zero ad spend. Zero brand voice. The audience writes the campaign for us.

THE PUNCHLINE · A CAMPAIGN INSIDE THE CAMPAIGN

Six weeks later, Nick films an Old Spice ad.
For the same lemon he sued us over.

White hotel robe. Marble bathroom. Holds the Lem up to camera, deadpan. Then, with a slow knowing smirk, presses it to his cheek. The face massager joke is now canon.

Reference

"The man your man could smell like." But for a sex toy. That his girlfriend already told the internet about.

Old Spice / Terry Crews shoot energy. One man, one product, deadpan-confident delivery, absurd cuts, one perfect punchline. Final beat: he presses the Lem to his face like a face massager, holds for one full second, smirks. The whole lawsuit was him auditioning.

Find the right box.

YOU'RE SERVED.

N.

HELLO NANCY × NICK KYRGIOS

SEE PHASE 2 →